Healing A Shattered & Broken Heart

If I have learned anything in my 32 years of life so far is that forgiveness does not come easy…I have lived many years hoping that I could I change the mind of certain people. That I can control the things that I cannot control, and I am coming to realization that I cannot. I cannot control anything that is not in my physical power. I cannot control other thoughts, opinions, or actions. No matter if I crave that control or not. I’m human. While I can’t control what others do, I can control myself.

Right now, I’m struggling. I’m angry. I’m sad. I’m resentful. I’m hurt. I’m enraged. I’m hateful. A week ago…I was this but to a lesser degree. A week ago I had an absent uncaring father but today I have an absent uncaring dead father. I’m new to this whole blog post thing, so I’m not entirely sure where I am going with this first post except to get the feel for it and to start to understand what it is like to put my feelings to words written down thoughtfully. If you have seen my facebook posts, they are raw emotional and straight to the point. This blog is a place to put those thoughts and posts in a morning meaningful and rational way….hopefully.

Tonight, I’m not sure that I can post much more than this right now because I got some news today regarding my day that despite the article title of this post….I just cannot forgive right now. This is why I titled it with forgiving the unforgivable. Hopefully some day I can let go of these feelings and move on…..today is just not that day.