Healing A Shattered & Broken Heart

When a a simple blog for a girl who has her life always flipped upside down and turned side ways all in the same day turns into something to help others. People come for the shit show but stay for the party!

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  • Dear 3-Year-Old Me:

    Dear 3-Year-Old Me:

    It’s 2026, and the end of this year you’ll be turning a whole 33 years young. You are about 11 times older than when this photo was taken. You’ve had 11 times the years to experience life and learn what it has in store for you. You’ve seen more in the 30 years since this photo than you ever thought possible.

    Please remember that what happens in the future isn’t your fault. You can’t control other people, you can only control your reactions. Remember that your mom did her best, and loves you fiercely. Everything that lady did was to protect you and turn you into the wonderful woman you will become. Remember that your actions matter. Everything you did to try to repair relationships matters. Every. Single. Time. It doesn’t matter if they took the hint or not. You did your part, you tried. Remember that you are loved by so many people.

    Always always always remember, you matter!!! You don’t know it yet but 23ish (give or take) years from now, you are going to meet a man nothing like your dad. This man will love you, cherish you, and treat you like a queen. He will be your rock and supporter through some of life’s hardest moments. Including the loss of the man you so desperately sought validation and love from. Hold on to him tight and never let him go. He will bring you immense joy, love, and happiness you have never felt before. Including a family you never thought you’d have. Your incredible baby girlies G.M.E & H.L.L.E💙. They will be the light in the darkness.

    Remember the darkness doesn’t last forever. Only you can forge your own path. Make your mistakes. Have your feelings. Feel them, own them, and always remember to love your self!!!

    Love,

    The almost 33-year-old version of myself

    3-Year Old Serena in Childhood home I believe this was around Christmas🎄
    Aruba February 2025 💙 (not quite 33 here I was 32)

  • What’s something most people don’t understand?

    People don’t understand that people grief differently. While some people may be able to slap a smile on their face every single day and pretend they are just find, others cannot, and that is okay. Grief is not one size fits all. People should not place blame and judgement on those that don’t fit their narrative or show emotions (or not) they way they expect.

  • Forgiving the Unforgivable….Or Not

    If I have learned anything in my 32 years of life so far is that forgiveness does not come easy…I have lived many years hoping that I could I change the mind of certain people. That I can control the things that I cannot control, and I am coming to realization that I cannot. I cannot control anything that is not in my physical power. I cannot control other thoughts, opinions, or actions. No matter if I crave that control or not. I’m human. While I can’t control what others do, I can control myself.

    Right now, I’m struggling. I’m angry. I’m sad. I’m resentful. I’m hurt. I’m enraged. I’m hateful. A week ago…I was this but to a lesser degree. A week ago I had an absent uncaring father but today I have an absent uncaring dead father. I’m new to this whole blog post thing, so I’m not entirely sure where I am going with this first post except to get the feel for it and to start to understand what it is like to put my feelings to words written down thoughtfully. If you have seen my facebook posts, they are raw emotional and straight to the point. This blog is a place to put those thoughts and posts in a morning meaningful and rational way….hopefully.

    Tonight, I’m not sure that I can post much more than this right now because I got some news today regarding my day that despite the article title of this post….I just cannot forgive right now. This is why I titled it with forgiving the unforgivable. Hopefully some day I can let go of these feelings and move on…..today is just not that day.